I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
We are all done wearing pants today
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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