Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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