I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
