I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i will never coherently bang her
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
