yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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