It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
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