He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
