I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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