Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Bring me that man meat
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
