the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize