you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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