Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Randomize
