I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
