Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
sex in a hospital.. check
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
