he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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