And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
