Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
