But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
