I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
