guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
