This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
she told me i tasted like america
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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