i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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