he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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