if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I need to align my fucking chakras
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize