if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
