will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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