dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize