Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
