you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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