The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
