When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
