I'm sorry my penis didn't work
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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