Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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