I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
