Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
