He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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