well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
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My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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