My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
