did you get engaged???
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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