She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
