You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
