they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
