you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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