On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
