sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
