I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
