Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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