Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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