you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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