very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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