Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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