Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Randomize
