She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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