U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
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omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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