So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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