my vag is so smooth its legendary
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
