that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Randomize
