phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
