just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
