I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
