I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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